Who needs Nytol?

My favourite gossip sites are all reporting that Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon have split. In fact, the bloggers/journos seem to be going a little crazy over the speculation. 'Have they/haven't they?!' posts are all over the net, official statements have been released from spokespeople. This surprises me. Jake and Reese? Causing media hysteria? Really?! I like them as actors, and they seem like decent, normal people. A sweet, well-matched duo.
But, on the excitement scale they are a massive ZERO. They're just slightly behind my ultimate snoozefest couples - the miserable JT and Jessica Biel, and the bland Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner (I'm yawning just thinking about them). They like to keep things private, which is understandable, and during their two years together they've frequently managed to slip under the radar. Half the time I forget that they're even together...and I never forget anything to do with Tinseltown. So what exactly are us celebrity junkies going to miss if they have parted ways? I'll tell you what...nothing!
If they have broken up, yes it's a shame, and that's one less likable, attractive pairing on the red carpet. But, in the words of a fantastically flamboyant, super-posh, uber-gay model booker I met on a night out in Paris a few years ago: "WHO CARES?!"

Um...yeah, ok

Has anyone ever noticed how often characters in movies turn down fabulous job offers despite having worked towards that particular position for years? They start off as extremely ambitious, sacrifice a lot on the way and prove themselves to be the best candidates for their prospective promotions. Then, when they're finally presented with the opportunity of their dreams they're always like 'Thanks, but no thanks.'
I mean, what is that?! And it's normally over some ridiculous ethical dilemma that can be easily solved, or let's be honest, overlooked. The Cher Horowitz inside me just wants to scream: 'Whatever!'
Does this actually ever happen in the real world, or is it just so these films have a moralistic ending? Because I for one would love to sit on my overpaid butt and have my assistant bring me my ninth skinny latte of the day whilst I admire the stunning view from my incredible 50th floor office. Ungrateful SOBs!
Come on Hollywood producers, you need to quit this recurring plot theme; in times of recession, it's just not realistic!
And in my next life, I'd like to return as a fictitious journalist...apparently it's much more rewarding.

Dear Santa...

All I want for Christmas is:

Kim Kardashian's new physique. Oh and her hair.

Thank you, Paris xxx

America's Next Top Failure

Fun, trashy TV is my thing, especially if it originates from the U.S. One show that always satisfies my addiction is America's Next Top Model. No matter what month it is, it's almost guaranteed that a season of ANTM will be running. At the moment I'm watching the latest episodes courtesy of youtube, as I'm too impatient to wait for them to be broadcast on Living TV. I'm currently on episode 9 of Cycle 13 (yes there have actually been THIRTEEN cycles of this show) and this time round Tyra 'I Love Myself' Banks has made a few changes:

1) The contestants have to be 5'7" or under. It's the 'short' girls series. For a limited time only, the giants of the modelling world want to give the smaller ladies a chance.
2) Paulina Porizkova has been replaced. Let this be a lesson to anyone who dares stand up to Tyra! A different guest judge will take her spot every week.
3) Tyra has lost a lot of weight, and her figure looks fabulous. I'm being serious! Unfortunately, the weight has not come off her massive ego.
4) She has also adopted a new severe haircut/colour. It's very dark, very straight and very unflattering. FAIL!

So I'm now past the halfway point and five girls remain. I won't spoil it for you by telling you who they are, but let's just say I don't think they'll be setting the runways ablaze. In fact, they'll probably never even end up on a runway once they leave the show, because even though they are repeatedly reminded by Miss J. Alexander (a.k.a the most pointless, undeserving judge ever) that they need to practice their walks, you know they're going to be slotted into the commercial side of the industry and not on the catwalk. Why? Because every single season there is a 5'8" girl who is constantly told by the panel and by experts on go-sees that she is just too short, and cannot compete against the other Amazonians. Now if they don't stand a chance, how the hell are any of the petite models going to do it? Tall, evil Tyra is just toying with their emotions!
On the bright side, there are some new catchphrases to grimace at. Along with the ever-popular 'The camera just loves you' and Tyra's 'Back when I was a model I was the BEST, just AMAZING...' watch out for 'SMIZE' i.e) The new, improved 'Smile with your eyes.' And Ms. Banks also has a new fondness of the word 'Tension.' This is meant to describe the strength of a girl's pose, but it just makes me want to roll my eyes - I do this a lot during ANTM, so much so that I start to resemble Audrina Patridge. And as always, make sure you prepare yourself for plenty of cringe-worthy moments between Tyra and 'noted fashion photographer, the strong and sexy Nigel Barker' (her words not mine, I personally think he's a bit of a douche). Tyra, he is married to a woman who appears on the show! The sheer audacity of it. And besides, you don't need Nigel to complete you...you are perfectly obnoxious just the way you are.
So there you have it...13 cycles on and ANTM is as entertaining as ever. And if I even begin to think that I've reached my limit and that I can't take anymore, I just skip to the genius that is Mr. Jay Manuel and he makes it all better again.

Can't I be on Team Jacob AND Team Edward?

Sorry about the lack of posts these past few days folks. This is due to the fact that I spent most of the weekend drinking and socialising and generally being a hot mess. But don't fret guys, I have switched back to blogging mode. First up: New Moon.
As expected, the new flick is a global sensation. It has unsuprisingly smashed numerous records, having the third-largest box office weekend opening of all time, grossing over $143 million in the U.S alone.
Impressive numbers aside, here is my own personal verdict.
I saw the film on Saturday after pre-booking my seats weeks beforehand. I had tried to refrain from reading too many movie reviews in an effort to keep the plot a mystery (the media hype and millions of trailers made this difficult, but not impossible). I went, hotdog in hand, and sat in the packed theatre not quite knowing what to expect, which is exactly the way I like it. I'd seen Twilight before, most recently a few days ago to refresh my memory, and I'd enjoyed it. I liked the theme and the characters/actors, but I wasn't a serious Twi-hard (that's an obsessive Twilight Saga fanatic to those of you who aren't fluent in vampire terminology). Well, after Saturday, I've been converted. Despite the fact that I've never read the bestselling Stephenie Meyer books that the Twilight Saga is based on, nor am I a crazed, 13-year-old Edward Cullen fan, I absolutely loved New Moon. And I much prefered this sequel to the original. The characters were more developed, the acting had become stronger and the storyline was better. Though it ran at 130 minutes it didn't drag on at all, and I didn't want it to end. I'm not normally a huge follower of the fantasy genre - I'm more of a gangster/drama/thriller girl - but I found myself totally engrossed in New Moon. The talented cast are all great in their roles - a special mention to Kristen Stewart, always a favourite with me and the fam - and the love triangle between Bella (Stewart), Jacob (Taylor Lautner) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) is gripping and interesting. I won't give away too much of the script, but if you liked Twilight, definitely give this follow-up a chance, if only for the sizzling chemistry between Stewart and Pattinson...New Moon will certainly do little but fuel the rumours that the gorgeous duo are together in real life. I hope it's true as they're such a cute couple, and more importantly, that means Taylor Lautner and his amazing abs are left free for me. I don't care if he's 17 and that my perving makes me a cougar, the boy is hot with a capital 'H'.
So to sum up: New Moon is a winner and I'm now an official Twi-hard. Bring on Eclipse!

The wait is finally over

As I'm sure you know, New Moon mania has actually taken over the world and my household has been caught up in the process. My sister has been talking about this film since...well since we first saw Twilight in the cinema last year. 'New Moon comes out in 18 months Paris! 12 months Paris! 7 months Paris!' You get the gist. Recently the hysteria has reached fever pitch, and I have the names and images of Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner and of course, the always sexy Robert Pattinson etched in my brain for eternity. And today, at 1.20pm, all those months of anticipation will come to an end, and I've got to admit I'm pretty damn excited. It's vampire time!

Why are you doing this to me?!

Brad. Pitt. Those are two words that always make me smile. I have vague recollections of my eight-year-old self watching A River Runs Through It and thinking that he looked like a golden angel. And then a couple of years later I saw his beautiful face in Meet Joe Black and that was it. I was in love. And I've remained a loyal fan ever since. I watch every film, read each interview, and spend hours viewing countless clips on youtube.
He is, of course, always gorgeous, but when it comes to his appearance, certain moments stand out for me. My absolute favourite has to be the Fight Club era (but wasn't this the case for everybody?) Nothing could top that. I also liked his sweet, sensitive demeanour in Sleepers and the flashy Rusty Ryan period of Ocean's Eleven. And he was so delicious in Thelma & Louise. And Troy... Wait. I'm going off topic.
Over the years there have been many alterations, and time has gradually passed. But he's still Brad Pitt. I normally always agree with his fashion/beauty/life choices (apart from the shaved head of 2004 and the bleached Billy Idol crop back in June 05). But lately there have been some changes that have caused me to become a little disgruntled. Well, one change.
And I think I can speak for everybody when I say:
'Brad. What the hell are you growing on your face?!'
Yes. I'm talking about THAT beard. At first it was a little stubble, then the cool goatee that he always pulls off so well. But over the last four months it has developed into an overgrown shrub, and I'm losing my patience. When is he going to get the razor out? Every time I see a new BP or Jolie-Pitt post, I think 'Ooo! Maybe he's got rid of it now...' But nope. It's still there.
Now of course it could be for a film role, like the 2002 beard that he ended up shaving off anyway. But if it's not then the Brangeloonie inside me is concerned. Is it a message to say 'I am a serious family man now, my looks aren't important anymore?' Perhaps he got tired of being beautiful all the time. He's turning 46 next month, maybe he just wants to put the grooming on pause and save the world. Well baby, you can still save the world and look good doing it....duh, Angelina!
So please Brad, stop fighting the hot. Because I love you, and underneath that straggly bush, I know you've still got it.

Mi madre esta loca

My mum has a thing for foreign language CDs. Italian, Arabic, Turkish, it all goes. She doesn't understand a single word that is being sung, but this doesn't deter her from warbling along with the tune - badly I might add. Her favourites are always Spanish, whether it's Jennifer Lopez, Enrique Iglesias or her beloved Shakira. She recently bought her new album when we were in Marbella and it has been playing on our CD player on repeat since then. Which is fine, I like me some Shakira, Shakira, but what actually drives me and my sister insane is when she insists on singing to the Spanish version of 'She Wolf' ('Loba') in English, and doesn't even get those words right. And she can never resist imitating her dance moves either, despite the fact that her bellydancing skills leave a lot to be desired.
But the worst part is when she gets out her sparkly hip wrap (with hundreds of tiny gold coins attached for added musical effect), hits play on the stereo, and actually performs these moves in front of guests. At this point I walk away, get the white wine out and try to down the bottle with my eyes closed. I can still hear it, but at least this way I don't have to witness the tragedy that is unfolding before me.

Leighton Meester, you are not Lady GaGa

Spotted...at the American Eagle preview party in NYC:
Blair Waldorf looking like she forgot to take her meds.

Please burn those pants.
xoxo Gossip Girl

Yoga? More like Yogi Bear

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the most active of people. I'm more of an indoors kind of girl. Lately, the only form of exercise I've been getting is from walking up and down my three flights of stairs. If I lived in a bungalow I'd probably be morbidly obese.
I'm also one of those really annoying individuals who is always on some kind of 'diet.' I calorie count to the max, do well for a few days and then go out drinking or to a restaurant and blow it for the rest of the week.
Or (and I'm sure this drives my friends crazy) I'll say I really want to eat something and then quickly remind myself that it's bad for my waistline and that I'll feel really guilty later. Then after a few minutes think 'maybe I should just treat myself' and this debate goes on and on until - and this is inevitable - I eat the damn thing anyway. It is a vicious cycle. Vicious, but delicious.
So when my friend suggested I go to a yoga class with her tonight I had two simultaneous reactions:

1. Yoga? That doesn't sound like much fun. Isn't it all about locusts and birds and inhaling and exhaling?
2. I have been trying to lose the same 10 pounds for the last three years. Maybe for once I should actually move my body.

So, in a bid to become slightly more active (I say slightly, because let's face it, it's yoga and not rugby) I agreed to give it a try. So off we went and I am proud to say I am no longer a yoga virgin.
Was it fun? Well, it was...interesting. Did I look graceful? Definitely not. I was a wobbly, unstable mess. Was I improving my fitness? Well I did feel some tension in my muscles, muscles that I don't think I've used since my P.E lessons at school. It was pretty relaxing, and I think with time it will definitely help with my coordination and flexibility, so I may stick with it.
Did I feel any thinner, albeit psychologically? No, not in the slightest, but it probably didn't help that I had a huge, very tasty portion of bruschetta and fajitas afterwards. But after an hour and a half of getting into ridiculous positions and trying not to burst into a fit of laughter when the instructer started chanting 'Ashanti' at us, I think I deserved it.

The best way to start the day

Right, so I watched Jennifer's Body last night and it was actually ok. Rather entertaining and definitely not the worst movie I've seen in the cinema recently (that accolade goes to Sorority Row). It was a bit random at times and wasn't as scary or as funny as it could have been, but all in all it's not a bad way to spend a couple of hours, especially if you're looking for a teen horror flick with plenty of eye candy. Yes, Megan is totally hot, and Adam Brody of O.C fame also makes an appearance looking better than ever - no offence Seth.
So if you fancy watching a gorgeous cheerleader eat her way through the male population of her high school, Jennifer's Body is the film for you.

Moving on...
I am very, very excited about August 2010. Like can't actually wait excited. Why? Because ladies and gentlemen, that is when my idol, the supreme goddess known as Angelina Jolie, is releasing her new movie, Salt. Angie plays Evelyn Salt, a CIA officer who is accused of being a Russian spy. The trailer was released two weeks ago and much to my delight, the new poster was unveiled last night. One word: Amazing!
So here you go, a nice little something for you to gaze at on this grey Wednesday afternoon.


Because in my opinion, you can never see too much of Angelina.


Check out www.whoissalt.com for more hotness.

Fraternising with the enemy

My 14-year-old sister Penny is dragging me to the cinema tonight to watch Jennifer's Body. Sigh. Admittedly, part of me is interested in seeing if the film is as awful as I've heard it is, or if I'll be pleasantly surprised. After all, Diablo Cody wrote the script, and I did like her Juno screenplay (cute and witty, although not deserving of the Oscar IMHO). Amanda Seyfried is normally good fun too.
My main problem lies with the film's leading lady. That's right, Ms. Megan Fox. Now before you start thinking 'here we go, another jealous girl who doesn't like Megan because she's hot, blah blah blah' let me explain to you why I'm not exactly her No.1 fan. My dislike of her is not to do with her looks. I love beautiful people. In my opinion, the more beautiful people that exist in the world, the better. In fact, when I first ever saw Megan on the Abc1 show Hope and Faith a few years back, I remember talking to my mum about how she was too good for a small cable show. We had no doubt she'd make it big someday, and now she has.
So I like her pretty face. What I don't like, is the load of garbage she spews out of it. She's disrespectful of other people in the industry (Michael Bay, Scarlett Johansson, Robert Pattinson...the list goes on and on) and considering she's made like five films which don't really showcase much acting talent, she needs to be a little more cautious. Her position is vulnerable, as a new attractive actress could be on the scene in no time.
But most of all her 'Don't compare me to Angelina Jolie' mumbo jumba annoys the hell out of me. Girl, please. Like your PR team didn't make all the AJ comparisons to the media in the first place. She is unoriginal, and lacks any of the real edge and seductive charm that Angelina displayed when she first burst out on to the scene in the 90s, totally unique and fearless, the modern-day femme fatale. Megan is a good copy, but a copy all the same. They might both have dark hair, light eyes and tattoos, but the similarities stop there.
Megan's carefully crafted image has propelled her to the highest of heights in a very short space of time and it will be interesting to see if it lasts. For now, we must wait and see. And in the meantime, I'll be gritting my teeth and purchasing my ticket for one Jennifer's Body.

I'm ready for my close up

Last month, my friend Yazmin and I attended an event that was held at The London Smile Clinic in Clipstone Street. The lovely staff very kindly provided us each with a free home whitening kit, worth £450. As you can imagine, we were very excited by this! I have yet to use mine, as I wanted to check with my dentist as I have annoyingly sensitive teeth. But she's just given me the go ahead, so Operation "Get Simon Cowell's Pearly Whites" will begin shortly.
Whilst we were at the event, Dr. Tim Bradstock-Smith took my photograph and with the help of some amazingly advanced technology, showed me what my teeth could look like if I invested in some cosmetic dentistry. I've wanted my teeth corrected for a very long time; after all, I can't jet off to the other side of the Atlantic and socialise with groomed Californian peeps with the crooked gnashers I'm currently sporting. But sadly, I have never been able to afford the hefty price tag they come with. This hasn't stopped me from daydreaming about them year after year, and when Dr Bradstock-Smith offered to demonstrate his magic on the PC, I jumped at the chance. A few veneers here, a touch of invisalign there, and my new megawatt mouth was ready.
The results brought tears to my eyes. One day, this smile shall be mine.



All I need to do now, is find £3,500...

411

I love celebrities. Just love them. I think quite a few people I know are quite baffled by my total devotion to a group of people that I have never met and quite possibly may never come to contact with in the future. But I can't help myself. A-list, D-list, hell even Z-list, they all intrigue me, some obviously more so than others. Nothing can beat a good, old-fashioned Hollywood star, and my loyalty still lies amongst the great elite of this dazzling industry, its past generations and its present...i.e. I'm not that interested in reality TV contestants, although they certainly provide some entertainment value, and I do get excited if I ever spot one out and about.
So a lot of this blog will undoubtedly focus on my little addiction to those blessed, or perhaps cursed, with fame and fortune. There will also be posts on my other true love - films, and general day-to-day chatter. I'm not a great fashionista...I do enjoy a spot of shopping, but I tend to stick with what I like, and what I like is black, with a little white and grey thrown in. Furthermore, I normally buy most of my wardrobe in bulk sessions when I'm on holiday...it's more fun that way, and if I'm lucky I don't have to pay.

So that's the lowdown. I'm off to catch some zzzz's now but I'll be commencing my posts tomorrow. Ciao x

Better late than never...

Greetings my darlings!

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Paris. I'm 21, fresh out of uni, and an aspiring journalist.
My friends and family have been encouraging me to create a blog for a while now, but so far I'd politely ignored their suggestions for the following reasons:

a) I have facebook and twitter...is there any real need for a blog?
b) I love, love, love reading blogs, especially those with a celebrity focus. In fact I spend countless hours religiously scouring over my favourite sites on a daily basis. But would anyone (other than myself) actually want to read mine?

Mmmm....I remained sceptical.
Alas, due to the nature of my intended career path, combined with the fact that I am a recent graduate who is alternating work placements and temp work with what seems like a lot of 'relaxation time,' the prospect of becoming a blogger has become increasingly appealing. Now seems like the perfect opportunity to exert my thoughts, and hopefully, my opinions will prove to be of some interest to you guys.

So here goes!

Love, Paris xxx